Discovering My Quest

So I decided to start a book. Not really abook being my main objective, but really a determination to find a solution with similar reaserch that usually goes into a book. I decided that this will be the best way for me to find the answers I ahve been looking for. The number one being; what controls my happiness? As a woman I am contanstly plagued by the rollarcoaster of feelings. Sometimes I'm up, and then the next minute I'm down. I can never predict how I am going to feel from moment to moment day to day. My mood is like running faucet, I can't grab it and control it, its moving through my hands and escaping through my fingers. "Just stop! Just be happy!" I want to yell. Why do I eat one thing, or do one thing 'wrong' and my body and self-control just goes down the drain. The stupid thing about it all (it being my fragile state of emotions) is that I know what things make me happy and what things lead to depression, (eat right, excericise, and pray) but what is it that keeps me from doing them? Or establishing a lifestyle where I constatnly live and protect this key habits? see, I have no idea. That is what leads me to my quest. To get to the bottom of the solution, figure out what I am doing wrong. Because, I am definitely not living in a way that brings about self-esteem or happiness. And basically, I have the rest of my life ahead of me, this is not something that I want to be dealing with forever. I am on a quest to find out how to control my happiness, so that I can live in ways taht make me happy. if you want to follow along you can visit my site, controllinghappiness.blogpspot.com where I will be documenting my expermentations.