"I know you just wanna be friends." Bull Crap. Who just ever wants to be friends?! nobody! why? becuase friends are stupid - and at this age no one is willing to sacrifice a bit of themselves to keep that alive. Its either all of it or nothing. If yo're gonna treat me like a just dont matter and a 'person' ou have put up with, its not worth my time either. Yea, I could have taught you spanish, yes I could have shown you all the foods that they eat in Madrid and how to salsa dance and who to know. But heck, I am not gonna give you any of htis information unless you give yourself to me. "I always have a good time when I'm with you." Ew, just go kiss a monkey thats gross. Why can't you see you are amazing and you dont need me! I want you to love me with no obligations on my side. I am completely self-ish. But I would try my best to give you the time of day and to keep up little reminders of how I do care. But that never is enough. I dont expect it to be, and in any case its completely pointless to me, it has become a hassle anyway. ::just breathe:: I just wish that I could control them more, do something when I want and not when I dont. I wish that Icould enjoy the outside because it is SO beautiful outside right now. SO beautiful. When Igo outside on a nice day a lot of differnet memories come to my mind. of all different ages, you cant help make a good memory on a good day. When I go out side today I think of Bryce I think of being with him on a good day. I wonder what I would think of bryce now if he was with me. what would we be doing? what would we do? we would be outside, but doing what? Ihope that I would be happy. Iwould be happy with a small group of ppl playing football, casually on the grass .crash down and sit. sit and think and feel and be. I jsut want to be.